I woke up this morning feeling a bit disheveled, still sleepy and unsure what to do with my day. My half asleep brain thought David Attenborough’s new documentary on Netflix would be good morning TV.
As much as I love watching nature, as much as I love and respect that man so much I have realised, we as humans suck. It is really hard to have one part of me that’s wants to bring us all together, to teach and inform every generation of mistakes made and problems solved. Yet another part of me hates people, I hate confrontation and uncomfortable situations, I hate expressing myself to be belittled and looked at like I’m crazy.
I don’t know what world I’m leaving to my daughter but all I can do is my part. I am a very small fish in an ocean but I’m trying! Adding this to the pressure already constantly in my head is not good but also necessary. I just don’t know what to do that can make a difference. Any ideas? Blessed be.
I had told myself a fresh start was coming on Monday, although I feel like I may have had a bit of a head start today. I had felt the best I had in a long time and I feel my faith and beliefs have really given me something to focus on but like always when you feel like you have everything under control your mental health comes to let you know it hasn’t gone anywhere and its not that easy. My brain chatter has been trying its best to get me back into bed all day for the last few weeks, its been a struggle but I feel it is, at least, only half winning.
the morning routine has kind of gone and my getting up time has gone from 9am back to 12pm, that needs sorting first. I have updated and sorted out my Alter space which makes me happy. I have all the things I love in one place and a place I can go and be peaceful and me. I have been reading all about the coming Solstice still and am excited to be able to do my first ritual on Saturday.
The weather has been a bit shit where I am in sunny old England and I’m really hoping I can cleanse and charge my crystals tomorrow, I feel like I have drained my necklace this week and it needs charging. I do enjoy being able to sit in the garden and cleanse my crystals with sage in the sun, I like to cast a circle and meditate as it is the most peaceful feeling in the world. I’ve been saying for years about getting a driving license and am yet to achieve this, I have a provisional and I have passed my theory test but I just have never really wanted it to much but I see all these beautiful places around my country and always think, I want to go there! but the public transport prices are a joke. For now I will just enjoy the pieces of beautiful nature near where I live and my own Garden, Blessed Be.