Novelty has worn off.

Today is the last day of my first full week back to work. I have been a bit quiet recently trying to prepare myself to go back full time, I really liked my three day work week routine.

It has been hard, a lot harder than two days of work I’m completely capable of should be. I have struggled to stay motivated and be positive, I have been trying by using my crystals and saying my affirmations although I haven’t been meditating as much as I should be and that’s a bit disappointing.

I am lucky that my workplace is somewhere I feel safe and am allowed to express myself so I’m not really understanding the struggle. I’m sure once I get back into the swing of my new routine I will be fine but until then I have oils and crystals to keep me going. Blessed be 💜

Back to normal… For lockdown 2.0

I was so excited to go back to work this week, back to my desk and normality. Having a reason to get up and dressed and use some brain function, felt amazing!

But then lockdown happened again, there has been a confirmed case of covid at my daughter’s school, not her year or her “bubble” but you know it won’t be long and then we all have to quarantine.

For now I am just trying to stay positive, wash our hands and all have sanitizer, only leave the house if we absolutely have too and show as much love and compassion to anyone who needs it. There are tough times all around so please remember to be kind.

I will continue to be a normal productive member of society until I am told to stay home indefinitely, enjoying the small bit of normality I can before it crashes down again for Christmas. Blessed be 💜

David Attenborough, real legend.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit disheveled, still sleepy and unsure what to do with my day. My half asleep brain thought David Attenborough’s new documentary on Netflix would be good morning TV.

As much as I love watching nature, as much as I love and respect that man so much I have realised, we as humans suck. It is really hard to have one part of me that’s wants to bring us all together, to teach and inform every generation of mistakes made and problems solved. Yet another part of me hates people, I hate confrontation and uncomfortable situations, I hate expressing myself to be belittled and looked at like I’m crazy.

I don’t know what world I’m leaving to my daughter but all I can do is my part. I am a very small fish in an ocean but I’m trying! Adding this to the pressure already constantly in my head is not good but also necessary. I just don’t know what to do that can make a difference. Any ideas? Blessed be.

Starting again… again.

I had told myself a fresh start was coming on Monday, although I feel like I may have had a bit of a head start today. I had felt the best I had in a long time and I feel my faith and beliefs have really given me something to focus on but like always when you feel like you have everything under control your mental health comes to let you know it hasn’t gone anywhere and its not that easy. My brain chatter has been trying its best to get me back into bed all day for the last few weeks, its been a struggle but I feel it is, at least, only half winning.

the morning routine has kind of gone and my getting up time has gone from 9am back to 12pm, that needs sorting first. I have updated and sorted out my Alter space which makes me happy. I have all the things I love in one place and a place I can go and be peaceful and me. I have been reading all about the coming Solstice still and am excited to be able to do my first ritual on Saturday.

The weather has been a bit shit where I am in sunny old England and I’m really hoping I can cleanse and charge my crystals tomorrow, I feel like I have drained my necklace this week and it needs charging. I do enjoy being able to sit in the garden and cleanse my crystals with sage in the sun, I like to cast a circle and meditate as it is the most peaceful feeling in the world. I’ve been saying for years about getting a driving license and am yet to achieve this, I have a provisional and I have passed my theory test but I just have never really wanted it to much but I see all these beautiful places around my country and always think, I want to go there! but the public transport prices are a joke. For now I will just enjoy the pieces of beautiful nature near where I live and my own Garden, Blessed Be.