Today is the last day of my first full week back to work. I have been a bit quiet recently trying to prepare myself to go back full time, I really liked my three day work week routine.
It has been hard, a lot harder than two days of work I’m completely capable of should be. I have struggled to stay motivated and be positive, I have been trying by using my crystals and saying my affirmations although I haven’t been meditating as much as I should be and that’s a bit disappointing.
I am lucky that my workplace is somewhere I feel safe and am allowed to express myself so I’m not really understanding the struggle. I’m sure once I get back into the swing of my new routine I will be fine but until then I have oils and crystals to keep me going. Blessed be 💜
I woke up this morning feeling a bit disheveled, still sleepy and unsure what to do with my day. My half asleep brain thought David Attenborough’s new documentary on Netflix would be good morning TV.
As much as I love watching nature, as much as I love and respect that man so much I have realised, we as humans suck. It is really hard to have one part of me that’s wants to bring us all together, to teach and inform every generation of mistakes made and problems solved. Yet another part of me hates people, I hate confrontation and uncomfortable situations, I hate expressing myself to be belittled and looked at like I’m crazy.
I don’t know what world I’m leaving to my daughter but all I can do is my part. I am a very small fish in an ocean but I’m trying! Adding this to the pressure already constantly in my head is not good but also necessary. I just don’t know what to do that can make a difference. Any ideas? Blessed be.
All anyone can do in these very uncertain times is just move forward, and that is my only goal for next week, to move forward. Not be stagnant and scared, not be worried and overwhelmed. I want to make positive steps to make my life better, to try and help my mental health and get my life back to me being in control, or at least as much control as everyone else has right now.
My first plan is to start my daily journal, I have always said my journal is not private as I write my thoughts and feelings down here for everyone to read but I think I need a daily, private and just for me to reflect journal. I have been reading another wonderful book called the witch’s book of self care by Arin Murphy-Hiscock that has lovely ideas for a journal, how you can plan one out so even on days that nothing happens you have things to enter. I am going to start my new journal ritual in the morning when i light my candles and say my Affirmation.
The weather hasn’t been helping the situation either, I have never thought of my self as having seasonal depression as it has always been with me but I can definitely understand the basis of it, the sunshine really does make everything better. I do enjoy a walk in the rain sometimes but I am not a big fan of the cold so if it is windy too I’m out!
Moving forward no matter how small the steps are still counts, even if all you managed to do was get up, dressed and eat something then you have covered your basics, just try again tomorrow to add one more thing to the list, apply for a few jobs on your phone, tidy up the house a bit or do some washing. As long as your moving forward you are trying and I’m proud of you. Blessed Be.