Coming or going? Who knows!

I have two moods at the moment and switching between the two is getting exhausting. Happy me is cool, she gets shit done and meditates, she talks to people and is positive! Moody me is draining, always bored and tired, never has any motivation to rectify this situation and expects everyone else to it all for her but without her having to communicate a thing!

I can start the day one way and end the other but trying to purposefully change them, impossible! I have to remind myself to catch my negative thoughts, I’m constantly analysing every word that flows through my brain to the point I can’t tell what’s right and what’s made up.

This is where therapy and self care come into saving me from my mental health, being my escape from my own brain. Meditation is best for this but it’s not always possible to get into the right mind set, you have to think of it as training. It’s a muscle you need to make strong to be able to use it to it’s best potential so don’t be hard on yourself if it takes a while to figure it out, I’m still learning every time.

If you are struggling then take some time out for yourself, tell yourself you need to time to recharge. Take a hot bath or read a book or article you have been wanting too. Go for a walk to somewhere you have never been before or your favourite spot, just be in nature for a while. There are so many ways that you can self care just find the ones you enjoy and take time to really enjoy them, savour them and in your times of need, revisit them.

Thank you for reading more of my ramblings, if I struggle to figure myself out I do wonder what you all must think? Today I send you all love and light, positive energy and acceptance. Whoever you are and wherever you are, love yourself! Blessed be 💜

Moving forward.

All anyone can do in these very uncertain times is just move forward, and that is my only goal for next week, to move forward. Not be stagnant and scared, not be worried and overwhelmed. I want to make positive steps to make my life better, to try and help my mental health and get my life back to me being in control, or at least as much control as everyone else has right now.

My first plan is to start my daily journal, I have always said my journal is not private as I write my thoughts and feelings down here for everyone to read but I think I need a daily, private and just for me to reflect journal. I have been reading another wonderful book called the witch’s book of self care by Arin Murphy-Hiscock that has lovely ideas for a journal, how you can plan one out so even on days that nothing happens you have things to enter. I am going to start my new journal ritual in the morning when i light my candles and say my Affirmation.

The weather hasn’t been helping the situation either, I have never thought of my self as having seasonal depression as it has always been with me but I can definitely understand the basis of it, the sunshine really does make everything better. I do enjoy a walk in the rain sometimes but I am not a big fan of the cold so if it is windy too I’m out!

Moving forward no matter how small the steps are still counts, even if all you managed to do was get up, dressed and eat something then you have covered your basics, just try again tomorrow to add one more thing to the list, apply for a few jobs on your phone, tidy up the house a bit or do some washing. As long as your moving forward you are trying and I’m proud of you. Blessed Be.

The beautiful sunshine!

what is it about the sunshine that makes everything feel a bit better, and everyone want to day drink? don’t get me wrong I’m always down for a beer in the sun but unless you are on holiday and by the pool or ocean its just not the same. I miss holidays, not that I can afford one right now but the idea of planning one sounds amazing.

Instead I have had another wonderful idea, I’m going to move miles away from my home town and start a new life by the sea! great idea, pain in the arse to sort out. I am actually one of the lucky people that has a council house to swap the problem is finding someone who wants to move away from there beautiful little sea side town to my not so nice and near an airport town. I think I will be waiting a while.

so for now I can concentrate on getting my driving license, saving for a car and getting myself ready for the charity walk in September. if you haven’t already please can you pop over to my website, on my homepage I have all the information on Jacobs Journey and how you can help me, help an little boy in need. Blessed Be.

Feeling frazzled.

I feel like I have made some important decisions in the last few days, implementing them however is not going to be easy. My book is coming, the first few chapters just seemed to flow but now I am diving into the details it is not so flowy after all!

I will carry on and try to make some sense and flow to my story, I like the language and the story I have planned but like the rest of my life its the details that are screwing me over, and my impatient nature. I am my own worst enemy sometimes. Then I start to question everything and it all doesn’t make sense again, when can you tell the difference between your own intuition and the fears and reactions of your mental illness? not asking for a friend.

everything I want to do and aim at doing requires me to be motivated, for me to make decisions and stick with them and work hard because your dreams and wishes don’t just fall in your lap, but where do I begin? I have put myself out there, I have asked for help, I have applied and opened myself up so much more than I would do normally.

For now I will just keep doing what I’m doing, keep moving forward and trying to figure out what it is I actually want and how I am going to achieve these things, oh and writing my book. Blessed Be.