Where do I fit in?

Do you ever remember sitting with your family, it could be over dinner or around the TV and thinking this is where I belong and these are my people. Well I never had that. As a kid I always felt like I was acting, like I was playing a part I needed to play for…

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Family is complicated.

I love my close family so much, the unit I have around me now is loving, supportive and honest with me. I can be myself and know that I wont be judged. We are close by and miles apart but the love and connection is unbreakable. My family unit however has not always been this…

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Back to normal… For lockdown 2.0

I was so excited to go back to work this week, back to my desk and normality. Having a reason to get up and dressed and use some brain function, felt amazing! But then lockdown happened again, there has been a confirmed case of covid at my daughter’s school, not her year or her “bubble”…

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Bitten in the butt!

I had a wonderful epiphany the other day, I want a room outside where I can sit in the dry, where my teenager can chill with her friends that’s not in my house so I bought a gazebo! Genius. Not so much, you live in England! I have this thing tied down in every corner,…

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Full moon energy.

I feel very mixed emotions and energies today, I’ve put it down to the full moon but I can’t be certain that’s all it is. I start second guessing and overthinking. I feel so sad and angry with no valid reason why. I feel I want to socialize and isolate all at the same time.…

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Feeling positive about moving forward.

I have been away restoring my mental health the last few weeks. It seems to be a system I need to work through every few months. Self care and reassuring myself I am on the right path. Every time I wobble I get a reminder that I am not in this alone. A sign to…

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Alone time.

I was worried when everyone went back to work that I would be lonely, that having no one with me all day was going to be bad for my mental health but I forgot how much I did love being alone. Peace and quiet to do as I please, want to read a book with…

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Night time energy….

I love it when I get a burst of energy, I don’t love it so much when it comes at 9pm. I want to clean and tidy, I want to sort and organized and everyone else wants to chill out. When I have these burst of energy during the day I know by evening the…

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Coming or going? Who knows!

I have two moods at the moment and switching between the two is getting exhausting. Happy me is cool, she gets shit done and meditates, she talks to people and is positive! Moody me is draining, always bored and tired, never has any motivation to rectify this situation and expects everyone else to it all…

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Never to old.

I have been struggling with the concept of starting all over again in my 30s the last few weeks, being made redundant has made me rethink all the decisions I have made. I have a few qualifications in a few different things but I have never found the place where I have felt at home,…

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World mental health day.

Today is world mental health day, a day to try and be kind to everyone, we all have our demons and everyone deserves kindness. There are lots of platforms to reach out too if you are struggling. We are lucky here in the UK to have the NHS, sometimes you have to fight to be…

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Adding to my crystal collection.

As I was walking through my local town center today I spotted an unusual stool I hadn’t noticed. It had so many beautiful crystals, Himalayan salt lamps, dreamcatchers and native American pictures. I was in awe! I took it as a sign that I was due a few more crystals to help raise my vibration…

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David Attenborough, real legend.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit disheveled, still sleepy and unsure what to do with my day. My half asleep brain thought David Attenborough’s new documentary on Netflix would be good morning TV. As much as I love watching nature, as much as I love and respect that man so much I have…

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Not all days are good or bad, some are just meh.

All illnesses, mental or not, you have your good and bad days. with my anxiety and depression I am either super controlled and motivated, eager and willing to learn or lazy and anxious, scared of my own shadow with no desire to interact with anyone. The rollercoaster is unbearable at times. Then sometimes you have…

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Feeling supported.

There aren’t many mornings I wake up with energy so I make the most of them. I have been to town and replenished my candles as well as grabbing some incense, I have done all my housework and have the second load of washing on. It doesn’t seem like much and in the grand scheme…

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Moving forward.

All anyone can do in these very uncertain times is just move forward, and that is my only goal for next week, to move forward. Not be stagnant and scared, not be worried and overwhelmed. I want to make positive steps to make my life better, to try and help my mental health and get…

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Now is the time, to do what exactly?

Unfortunately I feel very much back at square 1 right now, like so many other people during these uncertain times I have been made redundant. Through no fault of anyone or anything other than the situation of the world right now, the pandemic, the virus and everything else that seems to be brewing around too.…

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Happy birthday blog!!

Today marks the one year anniversary of me starting my blog. I haven’t achieved every thing I wanted too but I still feel I have done something. I have lots of followers on several platforms, I have written about my everyday life by not gone into some details I wanted too. There is still time!…

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I hate bullies.

Bullying can be detrimental to your mental health at any age. When you are in school and its the people you are supposed to be friends with, it can lower self esteem horribly. I have been on this journey called bullying for many years, I have experienced it, I have done it and now I…

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The beautiful sunshine!

what is it about the sunshine that makes everything feel a bit better, and everyone want to day drink? don’t get me wrong I’m always down for a beer in the sun but unless you are on holiday and by the pool or ocean its just not the same. I miss holidays, not that I…

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Feeling frazzled.

I feel like I have made some important decisions in the last few days, implementing them however is not going to be easy. My book is coming, the first few chapters just seemed to flow but now I am diving into the details it is not so flowy after all! I will carry on and…

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I need a side hustle.

I have been furloughed now until October, not much work on and I work for a small business. I love my job and have no intention of leaving so I need a side hustle to make ends meet. Any recommendations? I unfortunately don’t have many qualifications on paper, not for the things I would like…

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The gardening begins,

My personality is impulsive and impatient. Not the best combination to have when I want to learn new things or pick up a skill. I want to know it all and I want to know it now and I want to be perfect straight away. Even though I’m aware of what stupid and ridiculous pressures…

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I love the sunshine!

I feel like I must be the only one in the whole of my country who is loving this heat wave! I don’t have to leave the house, I can put a paddling pool in my garden and sit in it and drink wine, I can meditate and tan myself at the same time. Where…

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I know wasn’t alone today.

I have had an extra bit of energy today, a little helping hand with my mood. I was organized and productive, I was positive and happy, I was not lazy or snappy. Who am I? Some days you win and today was definitely a win. I Spent some time with my daughter bonding over Disney…

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I have a home office!

I feel very grown up today, all prepared and organized in my little office corner. Normally my PC is in my bedroom as I have a habit of researching things and watching videos until the early hours of the morning but now I have turned the bay window in my front room into a proper…

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what is the moon doing to me!?

Today has been a struggle, I don’t know about anyone else but I have not managed to do anything productive today. I did my cards and I meditated for a little while this morning, I cooked for the fam as they still need to eat but I couldn’t manage to eat anything myself. I have…

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Thankyou for being with me today.

I felt the presence of someone today, or maybe a few people or spirits. I felt like I have been guided and it has opened my heart. The more I try, the more I seem to be getting closer to something. I’m not 100% sure what it is yes but I know I’m headed in…

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The endless possibilities, but why does my heart still hurt?

I have been trying today to take myself that step higher, that step further within my beliefs and spirituality. I have read a lot of articles surrounding the rewire your own brain formula. it is very similar to my therapy when you break it down in to basic terms, just don’t think them thoughts, don’t…

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Mind, Body….. control?

As I filled you all in on my morning I wont delve too deep into that. I went for a walk today, I tried to get out to a beauty spot that is about 40 minutes away from where I live but apparently I had the same idea as everyone else in my county. this…

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Starting again… again.

I had told myself a fresh start was coming on Monday, although I feel like I may have had a bit of a head start today. I had felt the best I had in a long time and I feel my faith and beliefs have really given me something to focus on but like always…

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I found some peace today.

I finally had a good nights sleep last night, although I did kind of miss the bird song this morning. I have been a productive human, sort of. I woke up and read my cards, I tidied up a bit and did some yoga, ok, I thought about yoga but I didn’t pull myself off…

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I’m hoping I sleep tonight.

As nice at is was watching the bird song this morning I’m very much looking forward to going to bed tonight I am just hoping I can actually sleep. I don’t have a bath unfortunately and would sell a kidney for a bubble bath right now! (to clarify I have a wet room) but a…

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