I haven’t posted for a while, I have written a few blog posts but haven’t published them.
I was reacting to a situation I have no control over, in fact I was ranting and although it is good to vent your frustrations, publishing them might not be best.
The conclusion I have come to over the last few weeks are simple when I think about them, I have no mother anymore.
I have tried forgiving and forgetting to no avail, I have successfully managed to remove myself from her but unfortunately my dad is still stuck there meaning I hear everything that goes on. All the manipulation and heartache, all the lies and ranting and how she gets such satisfaction out of hurting people so deeply but mostly just her self entitlement. For someone who spent her life putting others down she surely has a high opinion of herself!!
It is really hard not to react to the shit that spews out if her mouth when I can feel my blood boil, when she can believe her own lies so unwavering and gets a pure joy out of bringing others down.
As soon as the divorce is done and we have got my dad away she is going to die a very lonely, bitter old woman. I used to feel bad about that, slightly guilty that she will be alone but everyday she proves to me exactly why she deserves this. I have no responsibility to that woman and I look forward to the day I can tell her to her face.
I shared my post with you guys last week about bullying, about the issues my daughter was facing and that I understood how she feels. And then I get a follow request from one of my bullies!?
I had a problem with this “woman” since I was in my teens. She looks down her nose at me and called me all sorts of names. Fast forward ten years and She then decided to sleep with my fiance and get pregnant, don’t get me wrong he certainly enjoyed the fact of how much we dislike each other too.
Following this I get approximately three years of abuse. Calls in the middle of the night, text messages full of nasty comments, coming up to me in the street anytime she saw me, again shouting abuse wether my daughter was there or not. It finally ended after I had a harassment order and restraining order placed against her.
Welcome back to today! I haven’t heard, seen or had any contact since 2014 until I have the police called for my daughter then pops up a follow request. I deleted and ignored but it’s playing on my mind.
Why do bullys feel the need to check in? I’ve had messages from my daughter’s bullies asking me how dare I bring the police into this…. I’ve had requests from my bullies suddenly popping up. What the hell is happening!?
So today is a day of cleansing. I will be burning my sage sticks around the house and myself, I will be setting up my crystal grid so promote positive vibes and cleansing energies and may even attempt a clear all curses spell, just to make sure!! I hope you all enjoy your wonders day!
Please visit my blog and read about my sponsored walk I’m completing on the 5th sept for an amazing little boy. We need to raise as much as we possibly can and I would really appreciate all the help we can receive for him!! Blessed be.
Bullying can be detrimental to your mental health at any age. When you are in school and its the people you are supposed to be friends with, it can lower self esteem horribly. I have been on this journey called bullying for many years, I have experienced it, I have done it and now I am witnessing it being done to my daughter daily without any means to stop it or help her get through it.
When it first began I did what any normal parent would do and I spoke to the school she was in, they moved her around classes and took her out of the form tutor she was in to remove her from the bully’s line of fire but it still continued. I then removed her from this school entirely as it was getting to the point she was having anxiety attacks on the way to school for fear of violence, threats or constant name calling.
Once she had settled in to her new school and had made a couple of friends that when the harassment started online. They could no longer get to her at school and she had withdrawn from going out to socialise so the online harassment continued.
Several months had passed under lockdown and it seemed that had new things to entertain themselves with yet one week ago it all began again…. constant name calling and put downs, messaging friends and family because she had blocked them all on every level and every platform so at my wits end I called the police. The officers that came to our house and sat and read through all of the messages were lovely, very sympathetic and tried very hard to remind my daughter that she has just as much right to go out and have fun as they do. I can not express my gratitude to these two officers enough, my daughter felt comfortable enough opening up to them and talking to them about her issues and they told her that they would always be there to protect her if she needed it.
I wish I could sit here and tell you everything is wonderful now but it isn’t, they still walk past the house shouting things at her window, they still talk about her to anyone they can and they still insist on messaging her friends. I am just hoping that it eases the pressure of my daughter for a while, that she feels she can go out and socialize without fear of violence or threats. My only concern is her, how she feels and what ways she can express herself without fear of ridicule or second guessing everything she does because a hurtful group of girls just don’t know when to quit, I just try to tell her you can only control yourself, you are not responsible for their actions, only your own, just be the good, kind and caring person you are and the right people for you will find there way.
Is there any other way I could have handled this? does anyone have any advice? I feel the police was my last straw and if it doesn’t stop where do I go from here? I feel a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place. Blessed Be.