I haven’t updated my blog in a very long time, I would like to say it is because I have been getting my life together or focusing on my family but the truth of it is I just don’t feel anyone wants to hear my moaning and that’s all I have been doing.
The frustrating thing is I only have myself to blame, I know what I should be doing but I just can’t get into it. For every day I feel motivated and in control it follows with three days of moping and sleeping.
I have been speaking to a Dr and have changed my medication so I have put it down to balancing my levels out again but it just feels like an excuse. I don’t understand how braking bad habits and routines can be so difficult! it is like a part of me just won’t let go, it’s always been there and even though I know it’s unhealthy it’s also familiar and for someone who struggles with abandonment it’s so hard to release the familiar!!
I have managed to accomplish some things the last few months, I have my car on the road and my test in a few weeks. I have celebrated the 16th birthday of the beautiful human I grew from scratch! So I should focus on the positive and be grateful and appreciative of what I do have and what I have succeeded in, I have time for all the rest.
So for today I am asking for positive energy and reassurance that we are capable of living and making decisions even while carrying around depression and anxiety every day! For waking up everyday just to deal with the demons we have fought all night is strength in itself! Blessed be 💜