The first few weeks of the lockdown I thought I could finally catch up on the sleep I had felt I was missing, 14, 16 hours in bed however is not a normal sleeping pattern. I finally realised after waking up around 4pm two days in a row and then proceeding to stay awake for 48 hours feeling like total shit, I couldn’t carry on.
I started small and made myself get up at midday, made myself do something productive i.e., read a book or clean the house, you know starting easy. I found a book called Moon Magic by Rachel Patterson. I was totally intrigued by the things she was writing about, the magic she felt, or I felt through her reminded me of being a child again, of the excitement of the unknown and the never being able to learn enough. she has an array of fantastic books and I am yet to read them all but I do plan on working my way through but you see, this book opened up a pathway for me, it made me look into myself and really think about what my therapy had taught me and what it really was I wanted from life.
happiness and Peace, an inner understanding of myself and to love and be loved without any stipulations. that’s what I want. that’s what I need. and that’s what I shall achieve.
since the opening of the door for me into the world of magic, paganism, spirituality, crystals, reiki and many other new interests and research topics, I have found a peace and a faith I can rely on, one I can believe in and know it will never harm. that is the ultimate goal of a decent human being no? to not harm and not be harmed? in any way; love, energy, money, family whatever means the most to you. we all just want to be accepted for who we are and what we love. I have made no secret of the fact nature is where I felt at home, nature is my church and it always has been but now I have found new ways to honour her, new ways to make me feel like I can do something for the greater good. Aren’t you all so lucky you get to come with me!
I start small and work my way through, learning and feeling as I go, food for the birds, eating a bit less meat (I’m not a vegetarian yet but I might get there one day) litter picking and being more aware of my carbon footprint. I’m just trying to be a better version of me, using all I have learnt and all I know I am still to learn to raise my vibration. I am very lucky for the whole support unit I have as I had to remove the toxic I felt all around and to the universe I am grateful for helping with that. Any thoughts, ideas, links or interests anyone would like to share or discuss please feel free to leave a comment and please share my blog if it is something you think people would like.
Thank you and Blessed Be!
Anarchy & Anxiety 