Hereditary illness’s and how I deal.

Knowing that your feelings and emotions are playing tricks on you is one thing but when you see someone you love feeling that way and there isn’t anything you can do about it, it hurts! It makes you feel helpless.

You can’t explain your illness to someone else experiencing Thier own interpretation of the illness. I watch my daughter struggle with anxiety knowing there is nothing I can do but lead her on the right path. I can’t explain or brush her valid feelings off I just have to support her in any way I can. She has a shit day and needs to be left alone, that’s what I do. I can’t help but judge her actions on my feelings, so I do the things that would make me happy. Movies and chocolate. Cuddles or distance. Jokes or sarcasm (she speaks fluent like me)
sometimes I get it right and some days I don’t. But I take the bad moods and attitude because I know she’s a good girl. I know she talks to me when she needs to and I don’t pressure her, just always remind her she’s loved and accepted for who she is.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the mother of a teenage daughter, we have our fights and disagreements but we are supposed to, that’s how she grows and stands up for what she wants and believes in. If she can’t feel comfortable with me then where can she!? She is painfully shy and doesn’t like talking to any other adult authority which can be difficult sometimes. I feel I push her to talk more than I should but I don’t want to be her voice for the outside world I want her to have the courage to speak up but her anxiety keeps her quiet and I need to understand that.

People have told me im to soft on her, that I’m to aware of her feelings and not teaching her to be an adult but how do you pressure someone to speak up when you, yourself have days you don’t want to. It’s a difficult one for me and something I struggle with alot.

She is a good girl and doesn’t get in trouble, I get attitude but not disrespect and she is aware of others feelings the same of her own and for me that’s a win. She is my everything and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. It’s what mums are supposed to do, I think!?

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